Saturday, February 18, 2012

Five Sentence Fiction - Exquisite

Sitting on the bench just outside of St. James historical house, I wait for you to finish perusing the gift shoppe (oh, how I loathe that spelling) while inside you lift up and examine every touristy knick-knack that said shoppe has on offer.

Although happy you’ve finally crossed over from work David to holiday Dave, I am now exhausted by your World War II fascinations, particularly when the morning had held so much hope.

Our day began with a bright orange sunrise in the window, cuddles and quiet giggling in a hotel bed, room service scones with decidedly dark coffee served upon an enamel tray.

Watching you disembark naked from the bed to pull on your robe, find your wallet, answer the door knock and pay the patient server, my heart leapt with longing, mixed with admiration, mixed with laughter, mixed with lust, overshadowed by love.

That recent memory still with me, I watch you walk out of the building now, at first hesitant, seeking me in the vast crowd, finding me, your eyes shining, and as you walk towards me I realize this was a most perfect day after all.

16 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thanks Steven. Always appreciate you stopping by & commenting :))

      Delete
  2. Now THAT was exquisite....loved it!!

    [Now hoping I can get the word verification to work...been much harder lately to post comments.]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Donna for kind comment! Is the word verification more difficult on my blog? Do let me know as I want commenting to be easy. I appreciate people taking the time to say something good or bad and don't want anyone to be dissuaded because of technology glitch.

      Delete
  3. I enjoyed that. You hit the nail on the head with the relationship, it's the simple things in life that are exquisite!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lisa, thank you so much for taking the time to stop by, read & comment. Appreciate you!

      Delete
  4. This is so perfect, Jo-Anne! I'm in love with this. The fourth sentence is absolutely gorgeous. Amazing!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lillie, you have done more to improve my writing than almost anyone. Thank you for being so supportive!

      Delete
  5. You are so talented. Now, if we can just get you to string a few thousand five sentences together, we could probably get you on a best seller list somewhere. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks KD for the vote of confidence! I think the bestseller list will always elude me but I would settle for being on a list of people who have actually finished a novel! You might be sorry about that since you'll be one of the first to read it :)) Thanks again KD.

      Delete
  6. Have to agree with KD. Another great little story Jo-anne, espeically the voice is very clear and I feel right inside the narrator's head. Well done :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much Chris - I appreciate the kind comments but of course you also know that I appreciate constructive criticism too! Need to learn and I'm hoping to improve :))

      Delete
  7. Replies
    1. thank you! Appreciate you stopping by and commenting!

      Delete
  8. This took my breath away. Lovely write, Jo-Anne. I hope you are writing a book.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Quirina. I am indeed writing a book but who knows when the heck it will be finished. I'm a newbie!

      Delete