Sept 9, 1988
Cheryl walked out of A&B Sound, eyes focused on the pavement, trying to calculate when she would be able to buy the CD player; at age 27, employed full time, it seemed unreasonable she couldn’t afford such a necessary purchase.
She rounded the corner at Dunsmuir, still distracted by her financial woe, and walked right into someone, full body flush, coming from the opposite direction; Cheryl’s chin hit the man’s shoulder and as she pulled away, a mis-timed deep breath took in his unpleasant body odour.
Startled, Cheryl gave her head a shake, then looked up, meeting the gaze of the young man into whom she had collided; his red eyes stared directly back into hers and in silence they both realized they knew each other. But before she could smile, before she could say anything, Reggie, Cheryl’s best friend from grade 7 to grade 9, turned right, pushing through heavy metals doors that slammed shut behind him.
Cheryl sat down on a nearby wooden bench, tired from her surprise journey to 1975, and after glancing back to read the name of the building, Union Gospel Mission – men’s kitchen and shelter, she dropped her head down against her chest and began to cry.
Aw. This got to me big time.
ReplyDeleteDavid, thank you for your dear comment. I knew what I wanted to capture but wasn't sure I could do it in 5 sentences...still kind of biting my lip on this one.
DeletePOWERFUL. Dang, you're good girl...!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Angela.
DeleteYou are so talented! I love this piece. It's just as Angela said, POWERFUL!
ReplyDeleteThank you dear Angie.
DeleteI agree with everyone else: POWERFUL! You write in a way that really makes me want to keep reading, and you include so many intimate details of your characters. After five sentences, I feel like I really know the main character! Great job with the prompt this week!
ReplyDeleteClaire - you are very kind. I appreciate you taking the time to stop by & read this!
DeleteBeautiful as usual, gut-wrenching, concise without sacrificing the emotional punch--you truly do rock the five sentence fiction genre!
ReplyDeleteThank you dear Kern. This was a difficult one to squish into 5 (I know I took some liberties)sentences. I appreciate your support!
DeleteMoving. Funny how we invest so much time and emotion in people at different times in our lives, then lose touch... We're just left with a natural curiosity over people we've lost over the years. Lovely piece Jo-Anne.
ReplyDeletethank you Lisa for your kind comments. I agree, particularly with people from our school years. It's only later that we're able to see that not everyone had the same choices available to them...yet we had similar dreams as children.
DeleteA real leveller! A thought provoking piece, nicely done.
ReplyDeletethank you so much Sandra. Really appreciate you taking the time to read it and comment!
DeleteMakes me think of how I always have ideas in my head of where people are and what they are doing, that I've lost touch with, but you never really know. Great job!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Lillie :)) I think of that too. I also think about how we have concentrated intense time with school friends and then we break apart and move into the world. Would we feel like we knew them if we met them again later in life?
DeleteAw, this is so sad & touches me deeply. For most of us, life doesn't turn out how we expect it to... You've packed so much into 5 sentences, Jo-Anne...I agree with the comments above, you are so talented!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Louise, I appreciate your generous kind words. Life doesn't ever turn out how we expect - sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes it's a heartbreaker.
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