Saturday, June 9, 2012

Lucky encounter

Lucy pulled on the oversized blue cardigan, her small frame making it necessary to roll the sleeves up so her hands could peek out.  Another moth hole was opening on the front but Lucy decided she’d mend it later.  She wanted to be one of the first people in the lunch lineup. 

Living three blocks from the Centre meant she got a full meal on weekdays. Her single room took all of the monthly housing allowance and most of her assistance.  There was no way she could afford food too.  But this room was worth the hunger. No more roaches or bed bugs. Her open sores were beginning to heal, and she’d been sleeping through the night too. Maybe my luck is changing.

Charlie was already on line when she arrived. Last Thursday, he hadn’t seen her. He’d been too busy combing his hair.  But Lucy recognized Charlie. The evening he’d chosen her, months ago now, he’d combed his hair the same way, checking in the rearview mirror to make sure the part was right.  He’d waited for Lucy to tuck the twenty bucks away in her handbag before unzipping his fly. She’d thought of Charlie’s kind gesture and his neat silver blonde hair many times since that night.

Lucy moved into the lineup and at the soup kettle found herself standing right beside him.  Their arms touched as they both reached for a Portuguese roll from the counter. Charlie turned to apologize, but when he saw Lucy his voice couldn’t escape his throat.  Lucy smiled generously and asked if he’d like to sit with her in the chairs over by the window.  Charlie nodded his positive response and picking up his food tray, he followed Lucy and his lost-now-found blue sweater over to the vacant table.

297 words
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This story is my entry for the "Forbidden Love" Blog Hop being ably sponsored by Ruth Long @bullishink , Lillie McFerrin  @LillieMcFerrin and by Janelle (Me and Mia blog).   Details can be found on Ruth's blog at : http://goo.gl/sG4eX 

17 comments:

  1. Stunning how you bring these characters so vividly to life in just a few words, Jo. Great entertainment - thank you!

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    1. Thank you dear Chris for your generous comments and, as always, for your writer-ly support. Very much appreciated!

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  2. Wow! You really paint the picture well of the hardship Lucy deals with. Loved your story! :)

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    1. Thanks so much, Rebecca. I really appreciate you taking the time to read my story and comment. The idea for the my entry came to me quite quickly but I wanted to make sure I could write Lucy as a 'whole' person rather than a stereotype. I hope I've been able to do her justice. Thanks again!

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  3. I feel left on a cliffhanger with your story - I'm completely rooting for Lucy and terrified that it's not going to go her way. Brilliantly conceived!

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    1. Oh thanks so much Meg, I appreciate your generous comment!

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  4. Great one Jo-Anne! I can feel the comfort of that blue cardigan in contrast to the not-so-comfortable surroundings and state of affairs.

    Also, nice 'Song for this week...' - old Van "The Man" Morrison hails from my very own Northern Ireland!

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    1. Thank you so much for commenting :)) Good old Van...well, he used to be. My understanding is that he's a bit cranky now. But wow, love his music!

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  5. The little details in this piece are what make is shine so brilliantly to me. Thank you for sharing this with us and linking up for the hop!!! Also, don't forget to send me some stuff to edit if you wish :) I truly love reading anything you write!

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    1. Dear Lillie, thank you for always being encouraging! I appreciate it so very much. Huge hugs!

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  6. Oh yes! The choice of words and perfectly-formed expressions do "whole cinematic" in one glance. I loved it ... and I want more. x

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    1. Thanks Cameron for taking the time to comment. I appreciate your generous comments! 300 words certainly get used up quickly, don't they?!

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  7. Always love reading anything you write Jo-Anne, it just oozes detail and perfect imagery. I was right there in the line with Lucy!

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    1. Oh Lisa, thanks so much for taking the time to read and to comment. You are always so very kind! I do hope that I was able to give enough context and background (so few words!) to give life to the character of Lucy. I wanted the reader to feel an understanding, and ultimately a sense of hope. Thanks again!

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  8. Just wonderful! Full of detail! You've tapped one of my secret soft spots with your homeless heroine and I'm rooting for Lucy's changing luck to keep on the upward turn!!

    Thank you so much for joining the hop, Jo-Anne!! :)

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    1. Thanks for sponsoring such a great idea! So many wonderful stories and there are still a few days to closing. I know there will be many more. Good luck choosing a winner but I must say I think the challenge of writing a story based on star-crossed lovers or 'Forbidden Love' was a inventive choice!

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    2. Thank you for sponsoring such a great theme for a blog hop! All of the entries have been beautiful stories. I appreciate you stopping by - Thanks Ruth!

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