Saturday, January 28, 2012

Five Sentence Fiction - Clandestine

Last parking stall on the third level-the oddly shaped space that’s too tricky for most drivers.

High heeled footsteps echoing, tapping on cement, matching the splashes in his chest.

Quick glances
at side mirrors, towards the parkade ramp, no one’s watching.

Passenger door opens, she’s here, shallow breaths, aching to feel.

Slides over, arms grab, lips open, “touch me”.

9 comments:

  1. Ah! I love this. The pacing is perfect. That last sentence is great :)

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  2. Nice!!!! 'Slides over, arms grab, lips open, “touch me”.' Love that last line

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  3. This is great, Jo. Those breathless sentences and short-short paragraphs are a perfect reflection of the action, internal and external.

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  4. As Angie says: dirrrrtty! Excellent :)

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  5. Very, very nice. And love the last line. :D

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  6. thank you to everyone for the encouraging, generous comments - very much appreciated! I was trying something different (I suppose that is apparent).

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