Saturday, January 7, 2012
Five Sentence Fiction - Hunger
“I thought she might stop by this morning”. Leticia looked out the kitchen window and drew back the curtains, anticipating her wave hello when Linda got to the side entrance of her apartment. Sweet lemon biscuits arranged on her best china plate, real butter in the glass dish, teapot ready for filling, the welcoming vignette had been set up for several hours. She wanted everything ready, everything in its place, everything nice so Linda would feel comfortable and perhaps think to visit more often. Leticia shivered and reached for the cardigan on the back of her chair, “my, the evenings are getting so cold now”.
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This is very vivid, Jo-Anne. I love the accumulation of detail, and how you've painted a strong external picture, sketching in the internal landscape with a few subtle strokes. That Linda better start visiting more often!
ReplyDeleteAlso, now I want some sweet lemon biscuits, please.
You just made me hungry for lemon biscuits, which I've never even had before! Great piece Jo-Anne :)
ReplyDeleteI agree. Lemon biscuits sound amazing :) Well done with hunger!!
ReplyDeleteI feel sad for Leticia. For some really weird reason it reminds me of the Joni Mitchell song 'Sisowtobell Lane'. :P Which I love dearly..
ReplyDeleteThe details glisten through these sentences! I love the imagery you use to describe the house. Nice work!
ReplyDeleteI also adored this piece. The food made my stomach grumble, and I hope that Linda gets there before the tea gets cold!
ReplyDeleteLoved this...made me sad. A mom waiting for a daughter? A sister waiting for a sister? A friend waiting for a friend? So many options. Well done!
ReplyDeletesad and lonely Leticia - so needy. a well constructed piece and the details sketch such a clear picture.
ReplyDeleteKate